You Didn't Consent To My Cold Call? I Didn't Consent To Your Hypocrisy.
"Is this a sales call?"
It sure is, Bill.
And since I can already tell how indignant you are that a sales person is interrupting your precious Monday morning…
I’m gonna switch gears.
Let’s begin.
The phone you used to answer this call? Apple spends $775 million per year on advertising and marketing efforts to make sure you have that gleaming device in your pocket when you need it. Someone sold you on the idea that you deserved the latest iPhone, and thank God they did, because now you can FaceTime your grandkids, navigate unfamiliar cities, and capture every meaningful moment of your life.
Your carrier? Verizon invested roughly 3.85 billion U.S. dollars in advertising in 2023 to build the network infrastructure that lets you stream Netflix during your lunch break, work remotely, and stay connected to everything that matters to you. Someone convinced executives to invest hundreds of billions in cell towers so you could have 5G everywhere you go.
The earbuds pumping your favorite playlist directly into your brain? AirPods generated $10 billion in revenue for Apple in 2024 because someone understood that music should be seamless, wireless, and beautiful. They sold you on the future where tangled headphone cords became a distant memory.
Come on, now, Bill.
But let's not start this call off on the wrong foot. What did you do on your 26.8-minute commute to work today?
You know, the one that starts with you getting into your car—$742 a month, right? That's the average monthly payment in 2024, but think about what you're really buying: climate-controlled comfort, safety systems that prevent accidents, entertainment systems that make traffic bearable, and the freedom to go anywhere, anytime. Someone sold your grandfather on the crazy idea that every family should own multiple cars. Thank them.
Then you put on that podcast, streamed effortlessly through Spotify's $1.6 billion content investment. Someone convinced comedians, intellectuals, and storytellers that millions of people would pay to hear their thoughts during morning commutes. Now you have access to more knowledge, entertainment, and perspectives than any human in history—delivered for the cost of lunch.
Next stop: Dunkin' Donuts for your morning fuel. That $5.49 medium iced coffee represents a global supply chain spanning three continents, sophisticated logistics, climate-controlled storage, and skilled baristas—all orchestrated so you can get premium coffee exactly how you like it, exactly when you need it, in under three minutes. Someone sold the world on the idea that great coffee should be convenient and consistent.
During that 26.8-minute commute, you encountered approximately 73 messages about products and services designed to solve problems you didn't even know you had. That's not manipulation—that's innovation discovery. Every billboard, every radio spot, every app notification represents someone who believes they've built something that could improve your life.
So yes, Bill, this is a sales call.
But let me tell you something: Everything that makes your life possible is.
Here's what we've created together, Bill: The most incredible consumer paradise in human history.
You wake up to an alarm that syncs across devices, check weather that's predicted with satellite precision, brew coffee from beans sourced globally, stream music from artists worldwide, drive vehicles safer than anything royalty owned a century ago, and carry in your pocket more computing power than NASA used to reach the moon.
You think this all happened by accident?
Every convenience, every pleasure, every solution to life's daily friction exists because someone, somewhere, looked at a problem and said: "I can fix that. And people will pay me to fix it."
Your smartphone connects you to humanity's accumulated knowledge
Your car transforms distance from barrier to choice
Your coffee shop provides a third space between home and work
Your streaming services deliver entertainment precisely calibrated to your taste
This isn't exploitation - it's the greatest collaborative achievement in human history. Millions of people, across thousands of companies, working to make your ordinary Monday extraordinary.
Let me tell you a quick story, Bill.
I was at the arcade with my buddy Peyton on Saturday. He’s 8. We come across this Star Wars VR game: Vader Immortal. Lightsabers, fighting bad guys, using the force, riding speeder bikes…all the good stuff.
Anyway, point is - I’m going on and on about how great this game is gonna be. Peyton’s just looking at me and I can tell something isn’t right - he’s nodding like I’m saying all the right things but when I lift the headset for him to take, the kid ain’t moving.
His eyes are darting all over the arcade - you know how arcades are, Bill - they might as well be Time’s Square when you’re 8; kids screaming, machines going off, some god awful top 40 playlist making sure you can’t even hear yourself think.
Finally I ask him - “hey, what’s wrong?”
And you know what the kid says to me, Bill? Looks me dead in the face and goes “Charles, what happens if I fail?”
You know what this really is, Bill?
Every successful salesperson you encounter is someone who reminds you that "What happens if I fail?" wasn’t a good enough reason to not try.
They're people who:
Pick up the phone to call strangers knowing most calls end in "no"
Believe in their solutions enough to face daily rejection
Understand that someone saying "no" isn't a personal attack
Recognize that every "no" gets them closer to the right "yes"
I know you’ve got a wordy rebuttal handy, Bill - but I’ll save us both the time and call your whining what it really is: You’re too afraid of rejection and too uncertain of what you have to offer to ever put yourself out there and risk hearing no. And every sales call reminds you of that.
Which is why when somebody gives you a call and says “Yes, I’m here to sell you something”, they become the villain of your story. Your very safe, very comfortable, very entitled story. You’re a Dostoevsky character with a mortgage and too many subscription payments.
So the next time someone calls you with an opportunity, remember: They’re participating in the same system that built everything you value about modern life.
They're the people who said "yes" to risk when you said "no" to possibility.
You don't have to buy what they're selling. Heck, you’ve put me off working with you anyway - hard pass. But the least you could do is appreciate the fact that sales people are willing to do the job that makes your consumer paradise possible.
Without us, Bill, you'd still be growing your own food, making your own clothes, and walking everywhere you needed to go.
Everything else? That's the result of someone making a call.
And being brave enough to risk failure for the chance to create something better.
So yeah, Bill. This is a sales call.
You’re welcome.